Black Friday Bullies

I don't know what I was thinking. It's not like I ordinarily brave the madness on Black Friday's. But for reasons that I'm still mulling over, this year was different. Somehow, I deluded myself into thinking, "really...how bad can it be on BF? I can handle it...I'll just get there early."

Famous last words. And define "early"!

Afterall, I've managed to juggle my hectic life as (1) a new mom, (2) a relatively newlywed wife (and yes, in case you're wondering, marriage came first, before I got sperminated), and (3) an ambitious career woman....and I've lived to tell. Not to mention that (1) my child is healthy and blossoming (2) my husband still thinks I'm pretty cool and (3) I haven't gotten fired.......yet ;-/

So I braved the crowds and headed out on my bargain hunt on BF. Oh, and did I mention that I brought my 1-year old with me? (I know, what was I thinking....seriously! Someone needs to call CPS on me!)

When we got to the parking structure on the less frequented side of the mall, it was all too promising. Parking O'Plenty! And why wouldn't there be. It was not even 8am. But, evidently, in spite of the pseudo-mirage of plentiful parking, it was a complete mad house the moment I set foot inside the mall. All I could think when I stepped in was: "where the hell did all these people come from and where did they park!?!?"

Long story short, it was a miserable time that was best summed up by the woman who bullied her way into the elevator at Macys.

One thing you notice when you have kids is that there never seems to be enough elevators. Period. And you'll find that you mentally take note of where things are in the mall relative to the nearest lift.

On all days, not just on BF, I would suggest that elevator priority goes to the elderly, anyone who has a blue placard in their car, anyone with walkers/wheelchairs, anyone with a leg/ankle/foot in a cast/moon-boot/ace bandage, and people with strollers. I'm not saying that all others are relegated to the escalator or stairs. Just let these folks go first when there's a line for a lift, that's all.

So back to the BF Bully Lady at the elevators in Macys.

Me and my baby in her stroller, a woman in a wheelchair and her party all comforably filled the lift. Then here comes the BF Bully Lady who risks her arm by sticking it in the way of the slowly closing doors. At first glance, it all seemed okay. She appeared to have a stroller with her. Mind you, we were pretty full to begin with, and it was questionable whether another stroller would fit.

So we all scooched in a tad closer to each other to accommodate this woman who I call the BF Bully Lady and her stroller. But wait, here's the thing -- her stroller was piled high with bags and bags of loot from the Disney store. No baby in sight. Or horror of horrors - is her baby underneath all those bags??!!

After the door closes and we're all sardined inside the lift and people are bumping my baby's stroller (while she's trying to nap!), one of the women called her out: WHERE'S YOUR BABY?

And get this: BF Bully Lady says all snippity "are you kidding? there's no way I'd bring my baby here."

WHAAAAT??

First of all, if that's a back-handed comment directed at me, that was sooooo uncalled for.

And second of all, why not just liberate a shopping cart from Albertsons instead of using your stroller as a cart for you loot. That's just weird. It clearly required pre-meditation. And to top it off, your baby stroller is like your fast pass to the front of the line for the lift. No baby necessary. Details. Details.

The lesson: No more BF adventures for me. Viva online shopping!